Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
