You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
