I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize