its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
