Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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