You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
