i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
