she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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