I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
