Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pants are for mortals
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
