Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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