KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
