I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
