Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize