I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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