covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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