i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
