Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
