I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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