Your dad touched me again.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize