In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
