How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
