my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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