if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
