C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize