I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
