Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
