I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
