I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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