So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
