ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
