I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
