I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
