well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
