I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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