and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
if only i could text you this smell
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Alive.
So much puke
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
