yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
