When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
