so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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