fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
