So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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