i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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