my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
no more duck duck goose at the bar
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
