Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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