What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
