You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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