So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
