Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize