Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
