It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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