im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
