quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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