I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
