She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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