operation harelip BJ is a go
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
