you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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