the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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