are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize