smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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