I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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