ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
