How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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