You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
