I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
