so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
