Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
