it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its about making memories worth repressing
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
